Hello, I'm Rocky. I'm one of the campus dogs. We're really not supposed to be running around campus loose like we do, but I've learned how to cock my head and look cute to the humans there.
No one really bothers us; even the college police throw us some scraps every now and then. I think they like us because when we bark at something, it's something they're interested in too. Sometimes they give the humans we're barking at a ride in their car—they seem to really like it when we let them know we think something is strange. You know, you can just tell something isn't right sometimes.
Unlike some of the other campus dogs, I actually do have a home. I come and go with my human when she travels to the campus. My human teaches something at the college, and sometimes she has students over to the house for lively discussions. I love it when that happens because I always get lots of attention, and someone is always petting me—I really like that.
One day I was running with the other dogs on campus, and something caught my eye in-between a couple of the buildings. I broke off from the group to investigate. The strangest creature I'd ever seen was poking its head out of a tote bag carried by a human walking across campus. The human looked a little strange too, but I couldn't figure out exactly what was different about her.
The creature spotted me and seemed to say something to its human. I was really surprised at what I saw next. The human lowered the bag so the creature could get out. As the human continued on her way, the creature headed straight for me! I stood my ground as the creature approached me, but it showed no signs of hostility.
We looked at each other for a reasonable time for a first encounter. The creature said her name was Penelope, and that she was this thing called a pellar rat. I told her my name was Rocky and I liked to chase rats. Penelope seemed unimpressed but genuinely friendly, and I jerked my head but choked back my bark at her.
Penelope asked if I would follow her to the bus stop. I asked her whatever for, and that there's nothing down there anyway. Penelope said there were busses to ride, and she wanted me to get on one with her. She couldn't be serious!
She was serious, and down to the bus stop we went. Penelope told me to sit like I was being obedient to a human, so the bus driver would let us on the bus. I thought there was no way they'd fall for that. Then the bus came and they did. I couldn't believe I was in this seat on a bus full of humans going who knows where.
I asked Penelope how we were going to get back after this joy ride, and she said the same way we were traveling. She knew which bus to ride to get back to the very bus stop we'd left. I didn't think rats were that smart, and was taken aback a little by the thought. Penelope explained that she also was part pig or something, and that pigs are very smart. Oooooo-kaaaaayyyy, whatever.
Whatever! Exactly. That was Penelope's attitude toward things. She explaind that any other attitude and life would be unbearable.
Well, I suppose. I let Penelope know that barking at strange things and creatures was something that I and the other campus dogs really enjoyed, and she was proper lucky that I didn't bark at her and her strange looking human too.
Once again, Penelope seemed unimpressed. What? I'd only made a fool of myself? Wow, this rat had the nerve.
At a bus stop near the edge of the suburbs, Penelope nudged me and said this is where get off. I was so amazed when no one paid any attention to us as we stepped out onto the pavement. Didn't the humans wonder who we belonged to, as both of us had collars? Penelope said the humans were too busy with their own lives, and even if they thought something was a little weird about us, that was even more reason for them to leave us be. Okay.
Penelolpe led me past this shopping strip and into the nearby woods. Ah, the woods—the wild animal smells were delightful. What? No time to sniff around? What's your hurry, little rat? We need to meet someone, and she is waiting for us! A swanky bitch, perhaps? No, not a canine at all? A woman! My own human's a woman. This woman's not a human? Aw, c'mon; woman and human are the same thing. Not in this case, eh? Are you sure all those porcine smarts aren't overtaxing your little rodent brain?
Ignored again. I decided to just follow Penelope—she really has my curiosity hooked now.
As we emerged from the woods into an open field, I started to burst out into an open run. But I stopped short when I saw this strange looking house thing in the field start to come apart. I wondered if my running had shaken it loose and it was falling down; better stay back so it won't fall on me.
With the casual boldness that she'd shown me from the beginning, Penelope headed straight for the falling wall of house. She looked back and told me to follow her. What, are you crazy? No? Okay. Oh, well, she hasn't gotten me into trouble yet.
Up the fallen wall we went and inside of the strange house. I sure hope this rat knows what she's doing.
The place actually looked sort of nice and pleasant, but different than any house I'd ever seen before. I followed Penelope as she turned into one ofthe rooms. There was this woman there, and I stopped short to look her over. She was strange and very dark; she was as black as that Labrador Retriever that runs with us on campus.
The woman invited me to jump up into her lap. Sure. Uncanny how unthreatening she was for a human, or a not-human, or whatever. I was a little big for a woman's lap, but up I jumped. Somehow she supported me in a comfortable and secure way. The woman did something to my collar, and then started talking to me. She said her name was Kaggla, and that I now had the ability to understand the things that my humans were talking about.
Oooooo-kaaaaayyyy, whatever. What's the point of being able to do this? Oh, because humans are so involved in their own thoughts and problems that they miss the point of all their points? What can I do about that? Oh, sometimes we can help humans who get hurt by other humans. I'm not sure I can actually do anything except get humans to pet me. Oh, but if I tell what I see and hear to Penelope's human, then she might be able to do something. You mean that strange looking woman who was carrying Penelope in that shoulderbag earlier today? The very one, eh? Sure, I do get bored with the other dogs sometimes, come to think of it.
On the way back to campus, I kept waiting for something to go wrong, but Penelope navigated us back on the right bus just as she'd done to get us to Kaggla's place. It was good to be back on my familiar territory again.
Penelope's human was waiting for us on one of the benches. Her name is Penna. She was very good at conversation, and seemed to understand me as a dog. Okay, so I was not to try to talk with humans except those few who knew how to communicate with animals like me. Penna was one of those few. How did she know now that I'd had enough of strange things for a while and wanted to go run with the other dogs? Penelope crawled into Penna's shoulder bag and the two of them said they, and some other animals like me, would be seeing me soon.
I wagged my tail, and turned to join the other dogs again.
